I entered the gym all set for my morning workout. As the day of going “Back to school” arrived, I am sure every mom was looking forward to getting back to her own morning rituals after kids are gone. And yes I was dying to do my morning workout.
So where was I…. oh, yes me all set enthusiastically for my workout. As I stepped on the treadmill, I found an aunty (sharing the same origin as I am) on the treadmill next to me. I had an acquaintance with her the last time I was in the gym in the morning before summers stepped in. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she remembered me and my family history that she had evaluated in the last “introduction type “small talk she had with me. I smiled said hello as I increased up my speed on the treadmill warming up to run. As I was scrolling through my playlist and setting up earphones, I got a praise that I have lost weight as per her judgment of how I looked 3 months back. Saying thanks as I turned on the music, I heard her saying something more. So, I had to put away my earphones in politeness as this looks rude when someone is talking to you and you ignore them listening to music.
But this time it wasn’t a kudos it was an advice, moreover a suggestion I never asked for. An assistance on why I need to get pregnant with another child to complete my family. How important it is for my “age” to do it right NOW! (Woah……however, she is the same who didn’t think I looked married or a mom of 10 years old …the first time she saw me). Soon I will be old and won’t be able to give a birth or raise them with energy. (that I agree since our biological clock keeps ticking as we juggle between having it all…work, career, and family). And not to mention how important it is for a mother, not to work but be there for kids 24/7 as a stay at home mom because that’s the only duty we are obliged to. And she kept going and I kept smiling …a smile that I give when I don’t agree with people but don’t snap back with a reply to be courteous with strangers. Yes, STRANGERS who peep into my Uterus for no reasons. Thus, I put my earphones back into my ear and enjoyed my running listening to Alors on Danse by Stromae.
Well, that wasn’t the first time someone was trespassing to be dictating my reproductive decisions? Mostly in an hour or two in a conversation and introduction with people of my origin, the “Interrogation” (yes it seems like) really comes to my decision of having another child or not? And if not then what’s the reason; or when will I decide to have it? Sometimes I really want to say “Back- Off”!!!! know someone before you earn the right to trespass these boundaries that every woman has around her.
I am a working mom and I own my identity proudly because I believe that you live only once so you need to do all that’s important for you, having kids, working, making career, making projects with your little ones, cuddles for no reasons, cooking for your loved ones and traveling alone and with family too. YES, ALL OF THAT!!!
But having 1 kid of 5 kids or no kids and working after kids or not working is a personal decision, not a public one! so DON’T INTRUDE making decisions for other women’s uteruses.