While learning about talking techniques on how to unpack information asked in a strategic way so that you are not lost in the prolix words and lingering sentences, a thought struck my mind.
No matter how much we dread it or like it but “small talk” is an essential skill that takes us through our “Life Time” in different events. Within those scripted words and tactics, we ignore that how each relationship has a life cycle (no matter how eternal you think of it) and it starts and ends with a small talk.
Small talk is a skill. And just like any other skill, you can become more natural at it with practice. There are small talks always followed by the awkward silences in much cases contrary to small talk leading to a whole new level of relationship. Some people master it like a pro to get to the point where some move straight to the point.
How you meet new people trying to comprehend more about them, absorbing the information, getting into conversation starting from talking about the day, weather, interests, atoms, and magic to get to space in their head where you reside as a friend, acquaintance, lover, Platonic shadow or a rouge image. Then talking to same people all day and never getting the bored stage to the creases of laughter defining your life with them, falling for them as if gravity has let go of the Earth! How you become vulnerable to giving them a freedom to be vulnerable around you.
Contrary to the kind of small talk that can be energy draining to make an effort to know new people and you give up before even knowing them. Just sticking to no- relevant details like their perspective on if it’s snowy or sunny outside on the weekend rather than knowing how they got the scar on the forehead, or how much they hold inside when they smile, some deep conversations heart to heart with raw honesty knowing their favorite childhood scents, their deep-down fears, the faraway galaxies in their head rather than mundane robotic tactful small talk to break through the unseen doors in their mind.
How with few people you are a small talk diving into the conversation and not reaching full potential? And then the times when people are slipping away from your hand “small talk” becomes an unconscious tool that is all you have. Torture it is to have those lame non-scripted small talks with people who meant something to you once.
What do you think about small talk as part of your life?