Going down the memory lane I remember as she died in “Janbaz” I cried bitterly as I knew the movie won’t be same because she was no more in that ……I remember one of the 2 videocassettes of songs we owned at home was of her all hit songs named Roop ki Raani. My siblings watched her movie “Tohfa” the same day I was born. That’s the reference I heard all my childhood. As I grew up she became my first favorite in the Bollywood with her voice and talkative eyes. The first dance I ever did on my aunt’s wedding was one of her songs. From “Mr. India”, “Lamhe”, “Chandni” to “Judaai” I watched her movies many times. She disappeared from the screen prioritizing her family and kids and came back after 15 years with another hit “English Vinglish”, it made me glad that she chose a role matching her age rather than trying to act some age she is not….she aged gracefully in my eyes. She wasn’t on the screen for years yet her glimpses on the award ceremonies were good enough for all the fans like me but today she is actually no more in the world.

I never thought I would write anything for her. But since last few days as I heard about her death I have come across many news on the social media where everyone thinks freedom of speech means ripping out the soul of all those alive and dead…. where the general media loses the fine line between journalism and exploitation. Death needs some respect no matter it’s a celebrity or a normal person. It suffocates me how we can’t leave people in peace when they are no more around us.

With each day passing new controversies kept coming where her sudden death was blamed on her back to back surgeries to look young, or her extreme diets like keto or high proteins with steroids to sustain her looks of a celebrity.

But WAIT!!! Let’s think that how difficult it is emotionally and physically for normal women in this society to age and accept it because she is in a continuous marathon to meet the benchmarks of beauty set by the society around us. Going to social events is a process to look best with color correctors and best in shape to avoid any comments that you can get from people that might haunt you for at least a week. How a trauma can just be 5 minutes where you meet your body fat in a fitting room to get clothes that looked pretty outside the room. From Tires around your waist, your leg shape to those eye bags you got because of sleepless nights… to the perfect groomed nail tips everything has a QR code in the mindsets around us. How many times have we heard to own the stretch marks and baby fat we gain after pregnancies? Lucky are those who lose the fat naturally for others it’s a long story. Your skin your tone everything changes over time, you can’t be blooming like 18 years old at the age of 40 unless the rosy cheek highlighters are applied on point.

IMAGINE if that’s too much of a task for a normal woman how much pressure it’s for a celebrity who has been on top of her stardom. So, it’s normal that if she had to go through all this to manage her looks because isn’t this what we all expected her to be? Aging is supposed to be beautiful but if the idea of aging as per our mind is ugly then no matter how much we try we can’t embrace AGING naturally because our minds are tamed by the societal benchmarks of beauty.

The later controversial statements considered her insecurity and depression to be the reason for her unconsciousness or cardiac arrest that resulted in the accidental drowning. Her insecurity of being the 2nd women? Being a home breaker?

SHHHHH…. KEEP CALM. It was her life man doesn’t matter if she was the 2nd woman, what matters was how Boney Kapoor stood by her when he could leave her saying it was just an affair and he was happily married already, that’s the cars most of the married men use. What matters is how she prioritized her family over everything. How has media been trying to find the controversies in the marriage behind those smiles? The smiles she was expected to wear all the time. Also, this is all how things are being interpreted through the lens of media and society. Some people are not lucky enough to be the first women that don’t mean they can’t live their part of the life with the happiness they deserved.

To me, she will always be the same “Chandni” I loved, for her consistency to keep going besides tragedies, “Pallavi” from Lamhe for her innocence and brave as “Benazir” from Khuda Gawah. It really doesn’t matter what choices she made in personal life because that doesn’t decrease my love for her as an actress. She was a legend and will be MISSED.

Celebs act for us, we love them but…. That doesn’t mean we get the right to strip their personal lives. There has to be a limit of judging people or celebs about their body, about their choices about their acts no matter if they rule our hearts by the roles they play on the cinema screen or just pass by us as an acquaintance.

When they are alive, let them live in peace…. when they die let them Rest in Peace.

P.S it’s my point of view you can agree to disagree!



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