“Hey what’s wrong with you? You look really pale today !”
“You have gained so much weight! Oh my God”
“Aren’t you sleeping enough, your dark circles are telling a story”
“You let your child eat this!! What kind of motherhood standards you have?”
“Why don’t you dress up as per your figure? ”
“You don’t look happy today”
“You are always socializing, what kind of mother are you?”
“You look fat”
We all have come across people who will start up a conversation using the above comments or questions, always making a personal comment about you or your standards of living. Some of them are whom we know good enough and some are just acquaintances that we come across. I name such people “Cynical Creatures” whose only business in life is to stir up your mind thinking negative about you.
If you study such creatures deeply they are under a complex and to hide it, they get loud about pointing something at you so your peace of mind is intruded and you get into the thoughts on how to overcome your physical or emotional weakness. Even if they are not under some complex they want you to be intertwined with an inferiority complex leading to deleterious premeditations about your personality. Giving remarks on physical appearance has more tendency to make a person depressed as compare to other remarks.
That’s about the problem that is there and you can’t change it. But you have the control over how to respond to such comments. And how much you absorb these comments.
I would want to share how I deal with it because it might be of some help to you. It’s important to clarify following to not let these intruders get into your mind:
- Decide who are your “people” who matter to you and trust me these are few. Those are the only one whose comments are serious to put your mind to.
- Make it clear it’s your life, your opinions, your body, your face, and your mind. So, no one can take care of it or own it more but you. Therefore, stop taking comments of random people to hurt your ego. Your physical or social appearance is no one’s business don’t make it their business.
- Compartmentalize your mind in a way that these comments and thoughts make no change to your opinions and how you treat yourself.
- You are unique, no one can be you and you won’t be you if you keep on changing to approve people.
- You can’t please everyone, please yourself.
- Changing the conversation to discuss a random topic or small talk can help you in not making yourself a subject.
- When you don’t want to reply to something a small chuckle on making the comment a joke can help you escape all negative thoughts.
- Respect yourself don’t make you a subject to discuss even if you have something to rant about your own self because in that way you are giving the right to others to trespass boundaries.
This is how I handle it. Next time you see these cynical creatures, you should know what to do to tackle the situation.
Next time you see these cynical creatures, you should know what to do to tackle the situation.
Share your experience how do you do that?